I know you didn’t sign up for this but that’s life, honey. I suppose I could have posted this to my tumblr from 2009 but readership is way down. So here we are, make yourself comfortable, and Welcome to my new blog! I post once every 7 months! And maybe one day I’ll even post another poem.
Today I woke up with Monchhichis in my head so I thought I’d scour the internet just to weigh my options in case I ever decided to purchase one for adoption. In my search I found aplenty of beautiful Monchhichi from young (Bebichhichi) to old (grandma and grandpa Monchhichi), from vintage to brand new, from disassembled to completely in tact! I posted Bebichhichi to my Instagram story with a poll asking whether or not I should buy her for a mere $18.99. (Just know that if I’m posting a poll on social media 9 times out of 10 I’ve already decided on ‘yes’ and I’m just looking for some reenforcement.) So when a couple of ‘no’s rolled in from my boring ex-coworker (we both got laid off) and my slightly less-boring ex-coworker who decided today she was feeling “practical” and asking “aren’t you still on unemployment?”, I wasn’t thrilled by their hateration, but I wasn’t necessarily shocked. But shocked I was, when my ex-best friend’s ex-crush (wow I have SO many exes) who I don’t even follow back on Instagram (embarrassing!) decided to vote NO to buying Bebichhichi… Like okay wtf did I ever do to you? The only first-hand things I know about him, besides the fact that he went to my college and my friend used to have a crush on him, are 1) he once threw an all-denim party and 2) he once told a story about how 4 to 6? of his front teeth are fake because he knocked them out in some sort of car accident? roller blading accident? something like that. Now, make what you will of that information, I’m actually making him seem sort of like a fun guy, which is not my intention. My intention is to show you that I barely know him!!! Completely stumped as to what would compel a man to vote no on a poll of a practically random lady whomst doesn’t even follow him back on that platform, but most importantly to vote no on Bebichhichi (I just can’t wrap my head around it), I set off in search of some answers. And I’m serious when I say I was genuinely concerned for the guy! Was this a cry for help? Was he in dire need of some attention? So like any other concerned peer, I decided to judge the state of this stranger’s mental health by the wittle pics he posties on the internet :) . I went to my InstaPoll and clicked on the grim list of naysayers, and there he was, teeth and all, his smug little image glaring at me. I was lead to his private Instagram page (Boring) and, get this, his bio says, and I quote, “nah.” Just like that. All lower case and with a period. Truly how boring must you be to put “nah.” in your bio?And that’s when it hit me, this is one of those ‘no’ people! The type that gets a thrill from crushing others’ dreams, putting people down, and saying no to opportunities. Because why risk rejection when you can be sad all by yourself! Look, I’m not saying don’t ever say no. I’m not even saying not to vote ‘no’ on polls. I’m all for expressing opinions, likes and dislikes, I engage in hate as well…
But to say no to a little stuffed monkey-baby that obviously brings a great deal of joy to a 26-year-old woman you barely know on the internet, is truly beyond me. I guess all we can do is pray…
This post was inspired by the perfect header photo up there^. I found it online at this website made by Heike Andrea Grote. I hope she doesn’t mind that I borrow her image. It’s so perfect in every way. Also, check out this masterpiece from her YouTube channel.
XOXO, Alexa